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Monday, 06 February 2017 11:26

Quick Imp-ressions

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A Whateley Academy Tale

Quick Imp-ressions

By Morpheus

Wednesday, Sept 12th, 2007

When the fabulous Imp stepped into Kane Hall, every pair of eyes immediately turned to stare at her. Every single person in security knew who the Imp was, and that she didn’t belong in their offices…at least not without handcuffs. They were also aware that she avoided them like the plague, and would not have come without good reason.

“Hello, Imp,” Samantha ‘Sam’ Everhart greeting the Imp cautiously. “Chief Delarose said that you might show up.”

“And here I am,” Imp exclaimed with a broad grin, then giving a sweeping bow. “Ta da! The beautiful, talented, and fabulous Imp…at your service.”

Someone sitting at one of the desks snorted, “As if.”

When Sam looked at the source of the comment, the individual’s head ducked down to suddenly focus on the paperwork sitting in front of him. After a moment, she turned her attention back to the Imp. “I was told that you might have something for me.”

“Yes indeed,” Imp responded. Then with a flourish, she suddenly held out an envelope. “Here are a few of the weak spots I found around the campus perimeter. You know, places where an enterprising individual might be able to sneak in and out of campus without detection.”

“Thank you,” Sam said politely as she accepted the envelope. “This might be useful.”

But as Sam was about to turn away, Imp cleared her throat. “Of course,” she said cheerfully. “I’m interested in some…considerations.”

“What do you want?” Lieutenant Forsyth asked from a short distance away. He gave the Imp a wary look.

“How kind of you to ask,” Imp responded with a grin, before looking to Sam and turning a little more serious. “I’m looking for an empty room, large enough to use as a classroom.”

“But I thought you already had a classroom,” Forsyth pointed out.

“She does,” Sam said in agreement, giving the Imp a curious look. “Why would you need another one?”

For a moment, Imp just stood there, smiling and swishing her tail back and forth. “I’m going to be teaching a few special topics classes,” she finally explained in a cheerful tone. “Unfortunately, I don’t have space in my regular room for all the training materials, and I can’t very well rearrange my room back and forth every day. That would be WAY too much work.”

“Special topics?” Sam asked with a skeptical look.

“Of course,” Imp responded. “Every topic I teach is special. Anyway, admin says that we don’t have enough available classrooms for me to get a second, but suggested that you guys in security might know where I can get one.”

Sam stared at Imp for a moment with a suspicious look, then her eyes went down to the envelope in her hand. With a loud sigh, she announced, “Fine. I know of a room that just might work for you. From the measurements on file, it should be large enough to work as a classroom.”

With that, Sam went to a large filing cabinet that rested against the back wall. She dug through it for just a few seconds before pulling out a thick file. From that, she took several items, then placed the rest of the file back into the cabinet.

“According to our records,” Sam explained, “when the tunnels were first dug from Dunn Hall, this was one of the first side rooms excavated. It was originally intended as a storage room for the classrooms in Dunn, but somehow, it fell into student hands. The last student to use it died in an accident about four years ago, so it’s been empty and locked with a security seal since. We have no use for it, so here…”   Sam handed the Imp a sheet of paper with directions to the room, along with a key for the security lock.

Imp held up the key and gave it an unimpressed look. “A key. How quaint.”

“You may have to clean the room,” Sam said, “but it’s yours.”

The Imp gave a nod and said, “Thanks,” before hurrying off.

Once the Imp was gone, Lieutenant Forsyth turned to Sam and said, “You do know that the last student to use that room was Scrounge? He was a hoarder, who died when a pile of his…collection fell on him. The only reason we still had that room locked up, is because nobody wanted to deal with cleaning it out…”

Sam smiled faintly at that. “Really? You don’t say…”

Lieutenant Forsyth shook his head and chuckled. “If nothing else, maybe the Imp will think twice about making security chase her all over campus.”

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Wednesday, Sept 12th, 2007

The Imp stood in front of a sturdy metal door, staring at the strange device that was connected to both the door and the frame. This was a security seal, which not only locked the door, but also notified the security office if anyone tried to removed it.

Since this was Whateley Academy, Imp was confident that a number of students could have easily gotten into the room beyond, without disturbing security’s seal. In fact, she would have been quite disappointed if nobody had already done so. After, all, what was the purpose of such a lock, if not to challenge you to bypass it?

For a moment, the Imp considered the seal and how she could bypass it herself. Several options had already come to mind. But then, she looked down at the key in her hand and smiled wryly.

“Well,” she mused aloud, “using a key is a rather novel approach…”

Seconds later, Imp deactivated the seal and removed it, dropping it unceremoniously on the floor. Then she opened the door and felt along the wall, hoping to find a light switch. As soon as she did, the entire room was illuminated. The Imp froze, her eyes going wide as she took in her new classroom, or her new Imp Lair, as she was already thinking of it.

“What the hell?” Imp blurted out in surprise.

She had a hard time making out the full dimensions of the room, because it was already full. From floor to ceiling, the entire room seemed to be packed full of boxes of various sizes and types. She could see hard plastic, metal, and cardboard contains in various sizes, all piled upon each other in what seemed like a random fashion. There were narrow paths open between the rows, though several of the paths had been sealed off due to collapsed stacks.

“I’ve been played,” Imp said in realization, remembering what Sam Everhart had said about her needing to clean out a few things. “I knew I couldn’t trust security.” Her eyes narrowed as she looked over the room again, muttering, “This place looks like one of Doctor Avarice’s stashes…or that warehouse where they put the Ark.”

After hesitating only a few seconds, Imp began digging into boxes, humming the theme music from Indiana Jones. The first box she opened was full of socks, in unopened packages. The next one contained shoes, old and dirty ones that had definitely been used. Further boxes revealed old magazines, ceramic mugs, and parts from what appeared to be disassembled clocks.

“Definitely like one of Doctor Avarice’s stashes,” Imp said in disgust.

Imp opened what she’d decided was going to be her last box, and found it full of children’s books. More than half of them were from Dr. Seuss. She sat down and made herself comfortable as she picked up the book on the top and began flipping through it. As she read, her tail started to swish back and forth.

“So, you want to play games with me,” the Imp finally announced as an evil grin began to form on her face, one that could have been worthy of the Grinch himself. “I like games.”

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Thursday, Sept 13th, 2007

Sam Everhart sat behind her desk, trying to finish her latest round of reports before the next ones came due. Just then, she heard a knocking from her office door.

“Come in,” Sam said, only to look up and see the Imp come into the room.

The Imp was dressed the same way that she usually was whenever Sam saw her around campus, with black slacks, a red blouse, and a black jacket. However, at the moment, she also had a grin on her face and a mischievious look in her eyes. Between that and the fact that her hands were behind her back, and Sam began to have a bad feeling.

“I am Imp,” the Imp announced proudly.

“I know who you are,” Sam responded, giving her a suspicious look.

“Imp I am,” Imp continued in almost sing-song voice. Then, with her tail noticeably swaying back and forth, the unusual art teacher asked, “Do you like green eggs and ham?”

With that question, the Imp pulled her hands out from behind her back, and revealed that she was holding a plate. She held the plate out for Sam, who could now see that it held two fried eggs and a ham steak. However, the ham and eggs were all covered with a neon green food coloring, which made the entire dish look almost radioactive. Sam no longer ate normal food, but even if she had, she never would have touched the unappealing mess on that plate.

Using the same sing-song tone, the Imp cheerfully continued, “Will you eat it in a boat?   Will you eat it on a float? How about a county fair? Will you eat it with a bear?”

“Imp,” Sam started with a sinking feeling.

However, the horned teacher just grinned even more broadly. “Will you eat them on a plane? Will you eat them on a train?   Will you eat them here or there? Will you eat them anywhere?”

“Enough of this,” Sam started again, though the Imp merely winked in response.

“Do you like green eggs and ham?” the Imp repeated with a smirk. “Do you like them, Sam I am?”

Then, the Imp abruptly turned and ran out the door, laughing maniacally and leaving the plate of unappetizing food on Sam’s desk. Sam leapt to her feet and rushed to the door, only to nearly collide with Franklin Delarose. Delarose was standing in the middle of the hallway, staring in the direction that the Imp had gone running.

“Everhart,” Delarose started, shaking his head and then pinching the bridge of his nose. “Sam. Please tell me you didn’t antagonize the Imp.”

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Friday, Sept 14th, 2007

“There she is,” the Imp said in a bad Australian accent. “The female security officer. She’s a right dangerous critter, but isn’t she a beaut?”

The Imp was crouched down on the roof of the library, hidden from most people by her PK aura, which made her virtually invisible. She stared through a small pair of binoculars, keeping a close eye on her target, Sam Everhart.

A few feet away, Imp’s apprentice Melissa was crouched down as well. She was using her own powers to turn invisible and hide, which made her even more difficult to see than Imp was. However, she couldn’t remain hidden as long as her mentor, and her power faded away, leaving her visible once again.

“Crikey,” Imp exclaimed, still using the fake accent. She gave Melissa a warning look. “Back up slowly, and don’t let the little critter see you. You don’t want to spook the wildlife.”

Melissa giggled and did as Imp asked. “So, what are we going to do?”

“Not we,” Imp corrected her with a grin, dropping the accent. “Me. You

are going to stay up here and learn.” Then, in a deep and dramatic tone, Imp announced, “Watch carefully my apprentice, for I shall show you the true power of the snark side of the force.”

With that, Imp stood up and backed away, dropping the chameleon aspect of her PK aura. She made sure the items she needed were in the satchel she wore over her shoulder, then she took a running leap, channeling the energy in her PK aura to give her jump a little more ‘oomph’.

“WHEEEEEEE!” Imp cried out loudly as she flew through air, making sure that she was loud enough for Sam to hear her. After all, she wanted the cute blonde security officer to hear her coming…and to not shoot her in surprise.

Seconds later, Imp hit the ground, using her PK aura to absorb most of the impact, and rolled in order to deal with the rest. She sprang back to her feet, facing the security officer. Since she wasn’t one to waste a dramatic entrance, she quickly put on the red and white striped stovetop hat that she’d brought with her, only to remove it again in a sweeping bow.

“Imp,” Sam exclaimed.

“Do you like green eggs and ham? Do you like them Sam I am?” Imp sang out, reaching into her satchel and pulling out a handful of Easter eggs, all dyed with various shades of green, and casually tossed them out in front of Sam.

“This isn’t funny anymore,” Sam started, though the Imp continued and cut her off.

“Would you eat it with a spork?” Imp held up a plastic fork. “Would you eat it with a dork?”   This time, the eccentric teacher held up a photograph of Roland Williams. “Would you eat them up a tree?”   She gestured towards the nearest tree, then gave Sam a wink. “Or would you prefer to eat with me?”

Sam let out an exasperated sigh, not sure how to deal with situation. Imp wasn’t a student, and couldn’t be intimidated into behaving. In fact, Sam had been warned from even trying.

“Easter eggs,” Sam said, looking at the offerings that the Imp had left. She gave the Imp a suspicious look. “I don’t see the ham.”

“What?” Imp asked in mock offense. “You don’t think I’m a ham?”

Before Sam could decide how to respond to that, the Imp turned and ran away…throwing a cloud of green bacon bits behind her as though it was confetti.

Sam just stood there for a moment, shaking her head and wondering how many superheroes the Imp had driven insane with these antics. She was tempted to ask Carson, but feared the headmistress might just laugh at the situation, and this was embarrassing enough as it was.

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Saturday, Sept 15th, 2007

“What I would like to know,” Lieutenant Forsyth said, “is how she got through the building, past all of the security personnel, and then both in and out of your locked office, without anyone noticing. Frankly, it’s embarrassing. We’re campus security, and if we can’t keep a single teacher from breaking into our own offices…”

Sam Everhart gave him a wry smile and pointed out, “There’s a good reason why Delarose wanted the Imp as a security consultant.”

“True,” Forsyth agreed with a sigh. “But that doesn’t make it any less embarrassing for campus security as a whole.” Then, he gave Sam a curious look. “But speaking of the chief…   What did Delarose say about your little Imp problem?”

“That I am the one who set off the Imp,” Sam answered with a scowl, “so I’m the one who has to disarm her.” She paused at that, then admitted, “But honestly, I think he and Carson have a wager over how this gets resolved.”

Forsyth chuckled at that, before reluctantly admitting, “The office pool is on how long it lasts. I’m down for three more days.”

Sam gave Forsyth a wry look. “Maybe I should put some money on this myself.”   She shook her head faintly and let out a sigh. “The problem is, how do I stop the Imp without escalating the situation? I’m afraid that just about anything I do will be taken as a challenge, and only make this game of hers more interesting. My best option at the moment, is to be patient and simply wait her out.”

“She’ll probably get bored of this game soon enough,” Forsyth agreed with an amused look. Then with a chuckle, he added, “Hopefully, in three more days.”

“Last night,” Sam said with a grimace, “I went back to my quarters and found the Imp had been there too.   She left an MRE on my bed. Omelet and ham of course, and the whole outside was spray painted green. And then this morning, she left another plate of inedible food on my desk.”

“You have to admire her persistence,” Forsyth mused. However, at Sam’s flat look, he added, “Or not.”

Seconds later, the door opened and someone stepped into the room. Sam tensed for a moment, expecting another encounter with the Imp, until she saw that it was just a student. The girl was dressed in a pizza delivery outfit and had a pizza box in her hand. However, as soon as Sam recognized the girl as Melissa Chambers, that moment of relief was over.

Melissa just smiled cheerfully. “I have a pizza for Ms. Everhart…”

“That’s Admiral Everhart,” Forsyth corrected the girl.

“Admiral?” Melissa asked with a look of confusion. “But there aren’t any boats around here…”

Sam refrained from rolling her eyes…barely. “So, the Imp sent you this time.” The girl looked self-conscious as she shrugged in response.

Forsyth took the pizza box and opened it. He chuckled a little as he said, “Sausage and Canadian bacon, with a couple eggs on top. And the whole thing is smothered with pesto. It actually looks pretty good.”

“Would you eat it in a box?” Melissa asked, reading from a notecard in her hand. “Would you eat it with a fox?” That brought their attention to the picture of a fox, which was taped to the inside lid of the pizza box.

“What did Imp…?” Sam started to ask, only to realize that the girl was already gone.

“At least this time, we get free food from it,” Forsyth commented as he pulled out a slice of pizza, then called out, “Help yourselves.”

With that, the other security personnel who were gathering nearby, all rushed to the pizza before it was gone.

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Sunday, Sept 16th, 2007

Sam Everhart walked through Arena 99, where she was scheduled to help design a new training sim. However, when she arrived at her destination, she found that Gunny Bardue was already there, and that he had a deep scowl on his face. That in itself was not uncommon, but this time seemed a little worse than usual.

“Problem?” Sam asked.

Gunny nodded in greeting, then answered in a single word. “Wondercute.”

“What did they do this time?” Sam asked. If Wondercute was involved, there was no telling what they’d done to cause this reaction.

“The usual,” Gunny answered, rubbing at his temples to chase away the forming headache. “I put them through a training sim, with a specific tactical lesson that I was trying to drive into their thick heads. But those lunatics ignored every rule of common sense, and somehow managed to finish the sim, while completely bypassing the lesson…and the primary purpose of this sim…entirely.”

“They do tend to think outside the box,” Sam offered, giving Gunny her silent sympathies.

“Think outside the box?” Gunny grumbled. “Those girls are so far outside the box, they don’t even seem to realize that there is one. And THAT is the problem.”

Sam nodded at that, feeling faintly amused by the Wondercute problem, but trying not to show it. “This school is full of lunatics, and not just among the students.”

Gunny barked out a short laugh. “I heard about the trouble you’ve been having with the new art teacher. In fact, I’ve got twenty bucks riding on the outcome.”

“I’m pleased to provide you betting opportunities,” Sam said, giving Gunny a flat look. “If I could only find a way to distract the Imp long enough to make her forget about…”   Then Sam paused as an idea came to mind. A moment later, she began to chuckle.

“What?” Gunny asked, giving her a suspicious look.

“I think I know how to solve both our problems at once,” Sam explained with a smile. “At least for a little while…”

“What do you have in mind?” Gunny asked, sounding doubtful.

“I think it’s about time we fight fire with fire,” Sam answered with a chuckle. “Or fight crazy with crazy. What do you think about giving Wondercute a taste of their own medicine?”  

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Sunday, Sept 16th, 2007

Music played in the background, and the fabulous Imp danced to it, her tail swaying back and forth to the beat as she worked. Most of her attention was focused on the painting and easel that were set up in front of her, but the rest of it lingered on her next prank.

The Imp grinned evilly as she considered what she had planned next for Sam Everhart, but unfortunately, she couldn’t make any progress with that until Melissa returned with the rest of the supplies. So until then, she would have to kill a little time, and what better way to do that than with a little painting.

Just then, Melissa burst into Imp’s classroom, exclaiming, “I got it.” She grinned triumphantly at Imp.

“Good job,” Imp told her, with a grin of her own and a swish of her tail. “Now we can get to work…”

Imp carefully picked up a bucket, which had been useless until Melissa returned, and prepared to make a mess. However, before she could do anything, her cell phone began to ring.

“Hello,” Imp answered the phone, annoyed at the interruption, though it didn’t reach her voice. “Imp’s Road Kill Café. You kill it, we grill it.”

“This is Gunny Bardue,” a gruff voice said from the other end. “How would you like to have some fun?”

Imp grinned, twitching her tail back and forth. “I like fun.” Then, as Gunny explained what he wanted, her grin deepened.

Once Imp hung up, she turned and looked at Melissa, who was struggling to hold onto the small pig that she’d just brought into the classroom. Then, Imp’s eyes moved down to the bucket of green dye beside her, and the container of grease.

“Go ahead and take that pig back where you got it,” Imp told her startled apprentice. “It looks like this prank is going to have to wait a little longer.” Then, she began to gleefully rub her hands together, and with an almost evil grin, explained, “I’ve got a new project to work on.”

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Wednesday, Sept 19th, 2007

The members of Wondercute were all dressed in their fuku style battle uniforms, when they suddenly found themselves in their new surroundings. During their briefing, Gunny Bardue had only told them that their mission for this sim, was simply to capture a supervillain. He hadn’t told them anything more than that.

“Where are we?” Aquerna asked as she looked around.

They appeared to be standing in the middle of a park, with bright green grass, flowers, and bushes. Trees were scattered about, as were a number of large boulders. And then, in the near distance, they could see a cluster of buildings, in what appeared to be a town.

“Look,” Dragonrider said, pointing to one of the bushes, which was moving.

A moment later, an animal emerged from the bushes, though it was like no animal they’d ever seen in a zoo. It appeared to be some type of mouse, except that it was the size of a large cat, and its fur was bright yellow. The creature sniffed the air, then cautiously came towards the girls.

“Ohmygod,” Bugs exclaimed in stunned disbelief. “Is that…?”

“He’s so KEWT!” Generator blurted out with growing excitement.

Suddenly, a loud voice yelled out, “PREPARE FOR TROUBLE, AND MAKE IT FAST!”

The girls immediately turned to stare at the speaker, a woman who stood on top of a large boulder. She had black horns, a devil tail, and tiny scales around the upper part of her face. Most of them recognized her as the new art teacher, the Imp. However, the Imp was wearing a large white shirt, with a big red letter ‘R’ on the front.

Another figure stood up beside the Imp, a boy their own age. He looked something like a monkey, with brown fur over his body, and a long monkey tail. The freshman boy named Monkeywrench, also wore a white shirt with a red letter ‘R’.

“Oh man,” Monkeywrench announced. “This is gonna be a blast.”

Superchick’s eyes went wide, as she exclaimed, “It’s Team Rocket.”

“TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION,” the Imp announced as she struck a dramatic pose.

“TO UNITE ALL PEOPLE WITHIN OUR NATION,” Monkeywrench continued immediately after, trying to make a dramatic pose as well, though not as successfully.







Suddenly, a third person appeared on the boulder, a freshman girl whom they all recognized as Mischief. However, instead of wearing the Team Rocket shirts like Imp and Monkeywrench were, she wore a headband with fake cat ears. And with a mischievious grin, she exclaimed, “MEOWTH. That’s right!”

“That’s our mission,” Generator announced with an eager grin. “We have to save the Pokemon from Team Rocket…”

“But isn’t this copyrighted or something,” Gateway asked.

“Who cares,” Bugs told her, grinning broadly as she reached for the giant yellow mouse. “I’ll protect you…”

“Pika,” the yellow mouse started to say, which was immediately followed by a loud *ZAP*.

“BUNNY,” Superchick cried out as the other girl collapsed to the ground, still twitching.

The giant yellow mouse still had sparks of electricity crackling around its body and firmly exclaimed, “Pika Pii.”

“Bwa ha ha ha,” the Imp laughed, before exclaiming, “RELEASE THE KRAKEN!”

“Gotcha boss,” Mischief said as she held up a whistle and blew on it.

A shrill note filled the air, and then suddenly, all the bushes nearby began to move. More of the giant yellow mice began to emerge from the bushes, from behind the trees, and from around the rocks. In moments, hundreds of these creatures had appeared.

“PIKA!” the creatures all cried out as one, while sparks of electricity shot across the field.

“Oh, poo,” Generator exclaimed as a massive swarm of beloved cartoon mascots charged straight at them.

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Wednesday, Sept 19th, 2007

"It’s only one teacher and two freshmen,” Superchck announced. “We can beat them, no problem…”

The surviving members of Wondercute looked back and forth at each other, noticing that all of them had charred and torn uniforms. They’d barely escaped that field of cute and furry electrocution, though not all of them had been that lucky. Bunny had been lost, buried beneath the massive flood of Pokemon.

“We were freshmen last year,” Gateway pointed out, looking just a little concerned.

“Yeah,” Generator agreed with a grin. “But these ones don’t have any training or experience. It’s actually the teacher I’m worried about.”

Aquerna nodded at that, and in a conspiratorial tone, said, “You know, she’s a supervillain. Not just a pretend one for the sims, but for REAL.”

During the chaos of that last battle, all of them had been so distracted, that they hadn’t paid enough attention to the Imp or her assistants. By the time any of them thought to look, Team Rocket had slipped away. Now, they had to track down their opponents, while keeping an eye out for another Pokemon ambush.

Suddenly, Superchick, who was floating overhead, announced, “I see her. I see the Imp.”

The girls snuck closer and saw that the Imp was standing on top of a small house, all by herself. She was no longer wearing the Team Rocket shirt, but instead, was wearing a black and red leather catsuit. However, she also had on a long, black, and dramatic looking cape, with a high collar, which seemed appropriate for an evil villain. And then, in her hand she held a pitchfork. This wasn’t the kind of pitchfork used to move hay, but the kind that belonged to the devil.

“Superchick. Aquerna,” Generator said, looking at the other girls. “You two sneak around and try to get her from the back.”

“And keep an eye out for Mischief and Monkeywrench,” Gateway added.

As the girls began to approach, the Imp let out a maniacal, “Bwa ha ha ha!” She turned to look at the main group of girls with an evil grin, announcing, “My evil plan is working perfectly. Soon, I shall be the undisputed Imp-ress of the world…”

“You’ll never get away with it,” Superchick exclaimed as she got caught up in the moment.

“Hey, I’m talkin here,” the Imp exclaimed in an exaggerated Brooklyn accent. Then, dropping the accent, she continued, “Don’t interrupt my monologue. Do you know how rare it is that I get to do one of these?”

“GET HER,” Generator called out.

Dragonrider had been getting into position, and the moment the command was given, she swooped down from the air, riding on the back of her dragon, Pern. However, right before she reached the Imp, the teacher vanished in a puff of smoke.

“You won’t catch me that easily,” the Imp’s voice called out, though no one could see the source. “It’s Imp-possible…”

An instant later, Mischief suddenly appeared between Generator and Gateway. “Sorry about this,” she said with a giggle, as she held out her hands and revealed that each clutched a grenade…which she dropped before vanishing again. Generator and Gateway dove to the side, but there were no explosions.

While they were distracted by Mischief and her grenades, Monkeywrench appeared atop a nearby cottage. Like the Imp, he was no longer wearing a Team Rocket uniform. Instead, he wore a loud Hawaiian shirt, with a bandolier full of bananas slung across his chest.

“Bananagram,” Monkeywrench called out, right before throwing a couple of his bananas at them.

The bananas exploded in mid-air, creating a spray of banana scented liquid which fell to the ground. Aquerna tried running towards Monkeywrench, but as soon as her foot connected with the liquid from the exploding bananas, it slipped out from beneath her and she fell onto her face. A moment later, the grenades that Mischief had dropped, finally exploded into thick clouds of smoke that made it difficult to see.

“Smoke bombs,” Gateway exclaimed, then began gagging at the growing smell and holding her nose. “Stink bombs.”

“Who let Miasma in here?” Aquerna demanded as she struggled to back away from the stench, though she had a hard time getting to her feet because the ground beneath her was far too slippery.

Generator gagged and fought to keep from emptying her stomach. “Kitty Compact,” she started to say as she pulled a compact, before going into a fit of coughing.

“Bwa ha ha ha,” the Imp exclaimed, having appeared on top of another building. She looked over the scattered and distracted Wondercute with an evil grin on her face, before commanding, “Pull the lever, Kronk!”

Mischief giggled and called out with an Igor impression, “Yes, master…” And with that, she pulled on a large lever, which stuck out of the side of a building, for no apparent reason.

“Wrong lever, Kronk,” Imp said with a laugh.

Suddenly, all the houses around them began to shake and crack, with the walls and roofs splitting open and falling away, revealing the robots that had been hidden within. In mere moments, the robots had torn themselves free, revealing the large white and pink metal bodies to the stunned girls.

“No,” Generator gasped, her eyes going wide in shock and betrayal, as she recognized the Hello Kitty robots that she herself had once designed for the sims. Then, as one of the totally cute robots pointed its weapon at her, she exclaimed, “That’s not fair…”

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Wednesday, Sept 19th, 2007

Gunny Bardue and Sam Everhart stood off to the side, watching as the dejected members of Wondercute climbed out of their sim pods and began making their way towards the debriefing room.

“You know,” Gunny commented with a faint chuckle. “I almost feel sorry for them.”

“Almost,” Sam said, nodding in agreement. The truth was, after dealing with the Imp herself, she really could sympathize with those girls. “They never knew what hit them.”

“That wasn’t fair,” Generator whined. “She shouldn’t be able to use our own stuff against us…”

“I can’t believe she got you with Hello Kitty,” Gateway told the other girl. Then she shuddered visibly. “And marshmallow fluff…   I know it was just a sim, but I still feel like I have to go wash it off me…extra hard. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to eat marshmallows again.”

“Well, I am NEVER playing Candyland again,” Dragonrider announced. “I drowned in chocolate quicksand…while Oompa Loompas sang about it.”

“Mischief does make a cute Oompa Loompa,” Superchick pointed out with a giggle.

Aquerna just grumbled, “Unicorns are supposed to be nice.”

Once Wondercute had gathered in the debriefing room and had settled into their seats, Gunny put on his game face. As satisfying as it might have been to watch that particular sim, there were still some valuable lessons the girls could take away from it. And it was his duty, and in this case, his pleasure, to make sure those lessons stuck.

Just as Gunny opened his mouth, the room was suddenly filled with music. “I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world,” the female voice sang. “Life in plastic. It’s fantastic.”

All the girls stared at Gunny in surprise, then burst out laughing. It wasn’t until that moment, that Gunny realized the music was coming from HIM. From HIS cell phone. He normally kept the phone in silent mode, and he knew for certain that he had NEVER set this song as a ringtone.

“You can brush my hair,” the song continued to play, “Undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation.”

“One guess as to who is responsible,” Sam commented wryly.

“Damn Imp,” Gunny grumbled as he turned off the phone, earning more giggles from around the room.

Then, to Gunny’s dread, Generator turned to Bugs, and with a broad grin, announced, “I just had a great idea for something to try in our next sim…”

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Thursday, Sept 20th, 2007

Sam Everhart purposely walked across the campus, keeping a close watch of her surroundings but not seeing another person. That was no surprise though, as it was in the indeterminate hours where night and morning blurred together, and most people with any sense were in bed. She had just finished her final patrol of the campus, and was returning to Kane so she could sign out and end her shift for the night.

Just as Sam reached the entrance to Kane Hall, she paused and carefully looked around, though she still didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion anyway.

“Come on out, Imp,” Sam announced. “I know you’re there.”

Sam heard a sound from behind her and snapped around, to now see the Imp standing there. Since the Imp had a smirk on her face and a hand behind her back, she was obviously up to something. Then again, since she was the Imp, it could probably be assumed that she was up to something anyway.

“What now?” Sam asked, keeping her voice and expression even.

“Can we talk inside?” Imp asked cheerfully.

“Would it matter if I said no?” Sam asked with a sigh. When the Imp didn’t respond, she nodded. “Come on.”

Once they were inside, in the main security office area, the Imp pulled her hand from behind her back and revealed what she was holding. Sam had expected another green eggs and ham joke, but instead, Imp simply set a bottle of vodka onto the desk beside her instead.

“A peace offering,” Imp said.

Sam gave Imp a suspicious look, then picked up the bottle. She expected it to be green eggs and ham flavored, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t one of those flavored vodkas at all. However, it was Cat and Hat brand vodka, and had a picture on the front of a fat cat, who was wearing a derby. The reference was obvious.

“You know,” the Imp commented, casually sitting on the edge of the next desk over. “When I was cleaning up my new classroom, I found a certain book. I bet you’ll never guess which one.” Her eyes twinkled with mischief and her tail swished back and forth.

“I think I can guess,” Sam answered wryly.

“Green Eggs and Ham,” the Imp answered with a broad grin. Then she winked at Sam and continued, “To be specific, an autographed, first edition print of the book. It was worth enough that I was able to hire a few enterprising students to clean the room for me.”

“I suppose that was good for you,” Sam said, giving Imp a wary look since she wasn’t sure whether or not Imp was about to try something else.

Imp nodded agreement. “Yes it was. Most of the boxes were just clutter and junk, but there were a couple more hidden gems in the bunch.” She hopped back to her feet, flashing Sam a broad grin. “So, no hard feelings or anything. Besides, that whole sim thing was a lot of fun. Thanks for setting it up for me.”

With that, the Imp gave a sweeping bow, then turned and hurried out of the office. For a moment, Sam remained where she was, waiting for the other shoe to drop. She’d expected the Imp to pull at least one more trick before leaving. However, when Sam looked to where Imp had been sitting on the desk, she suddenly noticed the book that had been left behind. It was a brand new copy of Green Eggs and Ham.


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